Radiant Rose

radiant rose
tangling sweet nectar over seas
into hearts
forever changed

a flowering light
effervescent
fresh over years
unalterable bloom

into the halo of benevolence
she blossomed
an eternal youth

leaving her legacy intertwined in
Radiance


RIP
Radiant Rose Pollock-Schlegel
9/4/81 - 6/5/12

in love

you make me swoon with overflowing love and adoration
until my limbs feel numb and weightless
a tingling swell pumping my veins
radiating my body so that your spirit seems to be at every delicious breath of my consciousness

this is the reality of knowing you
this reality is wonderful
simply, sweetly, spasmodically
wonderful

rock a bye

ebb and flow
rock a bye
baby green eyes know
away down
find the way
down to the ginger
bread house he may
and kiss her
pink apple lips
rise sleeping beauty
rise, to the tips
to taste sweet love
at life's top
in every drip
every drop
take my hand
take your hand
to the moon
a brand new land
in a bucket
of moonbeams and starshines
bursting the seams
with your love
rockin me bye
each moonlit night
on a whispered sigh

11/23/10

writing to write. on trees and love.

i'm saying this just to say it
if you'd care to listen, then this is me. here. and now.  for you for me for them and no one.
i don't even know where to begin but here.  so take it or leave it because baby it's all there is.
i love you. 

i love you.

i love you.
thank you for being here. when i think about loving you, i breath deeply, more deeply. pausing.  inhaling/exhaling you in, your movements, your sounds, your spirit. breathing in and out.
i love you.

arcing, the tree will bend. and arcing too far, it will break.  standing too tall, too firm, it will snap.  When our tree ebbs and flows, its life is long; and for many years its changing leaves will bring you joy, and it's spring blossoms will remind you to love, it's shade will bring you comfort in Summer's heat, and when it winters, barren and stark and carrying a burden of snow - you may remember that life is precious - it wanes - it will not last forever.  nothing does.
no matter the years our fruitful tree graces our lives - a great messenger - it too will break.  Earth's landscape, forever changed from it. 
I believe as people, because we our so mobile - not rooted and noble like the magnificent oak - we do not see our impact as clearly.  Decades are not spent dedicated to the small circumference of our little plot in the world.  No, we move, we spread, we continually transplant.  But, when we go, our impact IS felt, it is noticed.
What will the remnants we leave behind look like?
You are noticed.  You matter, your every movement is felt.  And loved.

8 Sundays

It's been 8 Sundays. And I can't pick a favorite.
i was speechless for the first month we dated
completely overwhelmed with falling for you more each day
lost in the way my heart pounded at the thought of you
and the dizzy haze your touch would bring
swaying in your embrace
loving you is easy, unavoidable and fun.
pulsing deep within spinning round my chest pulsing down and up my length
tingling through each finger and wiggling in my toes
every bit's wrapped up with you
and reaching towards the moon

11/22/10

what it's like

there you are
tipping my cup
to the love in your eyes

may we never
and may we always
may we forever

forever may our eyes meet
always with the memory of our last embrace
never without love's longing

at the tip of every moment
you are on each breath
in the corners of every thought

the solace of your arms
the caressing comfort of your voice
the tender honesty in your words

and there you are again
tipping my cup
with overflowing joy

sorrow and joy

And the years trickle on
bustling brooks of moments gone and time washing by and the missing you wells in my eyes and swells in my heart and i wander a wondering path of grief and sorrow, loss and love. with joyful comfort in remembering
and today
more than other days
you become my hearbeating
your laugh and smile engraved in the forefront of every thought
all the things i want to tell you
all the things i wish i could have shared with you

To smile at Grief

this burning loss wraps over my heart in waves
washing over my body in thick, choking swells
i remember you
i remember your sweet smile and how you warmed my heart.

i remember all other losses
and my heart swells again

blurring hurt
thickening the energy around me
weighing down my limbs
freeing hot, aching tears

And i remember, i too, will die.
And you too, will die.

And in the way the leaves begin to change
Their vibrant lives are still -and forever- beautiful
Even as they fall
Gently touching down in a torrent of life and love.

So, this loss swells in my heart
And twists the crevices of this hurt
Into a deep gratitude for that which is lost.

To weep tears of sorrow is to embrace Life's ocean -
To ride the current of Give and Take.
To grieve deeply is simply to love deeply
To smile at Grief is to cherish that which is lost.

In loving memory of Lane Witt
September 23, 2010

flow

blueberry dripping
drop drip
drip drop
dropping
down the cascading light of day across a noontimes lull and into the moon of summers harvest sea why do you see me why do you seem so blue in those blueeyesbluedownsbluenews kiss my cheek and love me slowly down the trickling moment the warm creek in shallow water. summer sun glowing love glowing life glowing you. down on you. down on me and through. molding - making - melting into the heat of succulent sunny hot breezes
love me slowly
love me truly
love me until i melt and you melt and we melt into one and never stop
metal welded together but forever molding changing growing
quiet the sorrow in my heart
quiet the heat in my hurt
drip into the beat falling down on my heart and burst through in vitality. and glow.
glow.

Lavender

I love lavender.  The succulent smell, and the way it envelopes every sense when I press it between my fingers the way my mommy taught me as a little girl.  I can't resist the muted purple pillars draped with soft brown and green.  I love the way the bees adore the sweet syrup and perform their sporatic ballet in the summer's heat on it's lavender stage.  All tension and woes seem to vanish, even if just temporarily, in the perfume of fresh lavender.  How grateful I am for the gift it gives us.

delicious lavender infused vodka martini at La Capitale, Salem OR.  Enjoyed on Mom's birthday 8.3.2010

lavender love.

Crescent City

Tasting the first moments of our adventure to the Redwoods!  Mom and I trekked as far as Crescent City tonight - where we are now stopped in a little hotel.  Looking forward to a fresh adventure tomorrow.  Tonight's journey brought us down dark, windy roads cast with the constant glow of ominous tree trunks crowding every curve of the highway.  And, the thrill of seeing them just leaves me giddy!
Mom and I talked about how lucky we feel to be only excited to be trapped in the car together for hours/days on end with no sense of dread as so many other people have told us they would feel with their family.  Not us though.  We picked the lucky straw and get to just have a good time.  We sang along to Nat King Cole and David Gray and played bird-call games on her phone "there's an app for that!".
So far - having a blast and loving that we get four more days of fun.  Tomorrow we add to our company with Anna and Henry and their son Satto!

It's just beginning!

lonesome when you go

He's been my boy for three years this August.  Not a single day has gone by that Misfit hasn't been front and center, eager and ready for any amount of snuggling you can dish out and usually far more than you can stand to give - he always wants more.  Even now, as I type this, he is purring and forcing his cheeks against my hands, pawing at my arm trying to get it wrapped around him.  He follows me from room to room, keeps me company when I take a bath; nudges my face in adoring kisses; purrs when i tell him how much i love him; squawks frantically at the window- pacing back and forth- before i can get in the front door when he hears my car pull up; he plays whatever games the neighbor girls want him too, following them down the sidewalk, chasing sticks endlessly for them; he spoons and hugs (I woke up this morning with my arm wrapped around him and his arm draped over my shoulder, his head beneath my chin - fast asleep).

I'll be lonely when you're gone, little prince.

oh wistful day

oh wistful day. would you dance with me? down memory lane. over daydream's pass and on. on to my romantic moon for one sweet waltz

got my chin up and my nose to the grindstone, my hands are at my heart and my little toes are planted firmly on the joy trail.

Ankeny

It was late evening and the sun was setting a golden shimmer over the refuge - it took my breath away. Feeling like a trespasser on a private moment where the sun made sweet love to the glistening water and grassy meadow, my heart tightened and swelled with pulsing love for this place.
I chose to walk without camera or binoculars tonight. Somehow, the sweet torture of using only my own senses to identify and remember magnified my impulses. I felt moments of anxiety - wanting to see a bird more closely, wanting to capture the exquisite sunset, wanting wanting wanting. It was annoyingly gorgeous. I wanted to share it with the world, I wanted to keep it all wrapped in a bottle in my soul. The swell of passion left me giddy, excited, humbled. Awe for this world, this life, this love is the fine grains of sand filling my spirit and aching to share a grain with you.

And the soul beats

made with love from a photo I took last night.

Like I Love The Moon

I love you like i love the sun

The soaring caverns of my heart fly for you
Through greys and blues of clouded time and feathered wing
I love you with a rippling flame and a roaring wave

When I kiss you, it is the sun kissing Horizon's breast,
And the moist spring licking over smooth rock which tastes your lip

I love you with Summer's sultry heat

In a golden fever on the aching end of desire
And the simple lull of sleepy grasses blowing kisses to the night

I love you like the delicate petal

Rooted with strength and grown in Serenity's soil
You are the bloom in my cheeks and every blossom in my garden

You are my sun and moon, my love.

Unfinished

Lost in a daydream's song
Lost on the wing of a sparrow
Gone into the wild wind
Gone across the path I follow

Deeply frowning against the weight
Deeply feeling the need to release
Softly praying the wing knows where
Softly hoping the tall oak sees

Heron's Sun Prayer

We are a reflection
A reflection of one another
Wherever you go
I go
Wherever I go
You may follow
We will go there together

on the swaying sea

the loss of a friend i fear
the day is drawing near
gusting wind brought headlines
big and bold – distinctive, glaring signs
solitary heart at the end of day’s rainy pier
grey and cold, taken by a mourner’s tear
envied faith lost in trying times
despairing waves - ebbing declines
swelling into hidden reef with water's unclear
sorrow, drowned in weeping moans you cannot hear
the seeking captain's soul, direction unknown
compass-less against the winds lustful groan
the loss of a friend i fear
that day is all too near

Emerson said:

"All life is an experiment."
I said:
We love, we live we laugh we hurt.  And then, we can do it all over again.