what it's like

there you are
tipping my cup
to the love in your eyes

may we never
and may we always
may we forever

forever may our eyes meet
always with the memory of our last embrace
never without love's longing

at the tip of every moment
you are on each breath
in the corners of every thought

the solace of your arms
the caressing comfort of your voice
the tender honesty in your words

and there you are again
tipping my cup
with overflowing joy

sorrow and joy

And the years trickle on
bustling brooks of moments gone and time washing by and the missing you wells in my eyes and swells in my heart and i wander a wondering path of grief and sorrow, loss and love. with joyful comfort in remembering
and today
more than other days
you become my hearbeating
your laugh and smile engraved in the forefront of every thought
all the things i want to tell you
all the things i wish i could have shared with you

To smile at Grief

this burning loss wraps over my heart in waves
washing over my body in thick, choking swells
i remember you
i remember your sweet smile and how you warmed my heart.

i remember all other losses
and my heart swells again

blurring hurt
thickening the energy around me
weighing down my limbs
freeing hot, aching tears

And i remember, i too, will die.
And you too, will die.

And in the way the leaves begin to change
Their vibrant lives are still -and forever- beautiful
Even as they fall
Gently touching down in a torrent of life and love.

So, this loss swells in my heart
And twists the crevices of this hurt
Into a deep gratitude for that which is lost.

To weep tears of sorrow is to embrace Life's ocean -
To ride the current of Give and Take.
To grieve deeply is simply to love deeply
To smile at Grief is to cherish that which is lost.

In loving memory of Lane Witt
September 23, 2010

flow

blueberry dripping
drop drip
drip drop
dropping
down the cascading light of day across a noontimes lull and into the moon of summers harvest sea why do you see me why do you seem so blue in those blueeyesbluedownsbluenews kiss my cheek and love me slowly down the trickling moment the warm creek in shallow water. summer sun glowing love glowing life glowing you. down on you. down on me and through. molding - making - melting into the heat of succulent sunny hot breezes
love me slowly
love me truly
love me until i melt and you melt and we melt into one and never stop
metal welded together but forever molding changing growing
quiet the sorrow in my heart
quiet the heat in my hurt
drip into the beat falling down on my heart and burst through in vitality. and glow.
glow.

Lavender

I love lavender.  The succulent smell, and the way it envelopes every sense when I press it between my fingers the way my mommy taught me as a little girl.  I can't resist the muted purple pillars draped with soft brown and green.  I love the way the bees adore the sweet syrup and perform their sporatic ballet in the summer's heat on it's lavender stage.  All tension and woes seem to vanish, even if just temporarily, in the perfume of fresh lavender.  How grateful I am for the gift it gives us.

delicious lavender infused vodka martini at La Capitale, Salem OR.  Enjoyed on Mom's birthday 8.3.2010

lavender love.

Crescent City

Tasting the first moments of our adventure to the Redwoods!  Mom and I trekked as far as Crescent City tonight - where we are now stopped in a little hotel.  Looking forward to a fresh adventure tomorrow.  Tonight's journey brought us down dark, windy roads cast with the constant glow of ominous tree trunks crowding every curve of the highway.  And, the thrill of seeing them just leaves me giddy!
Mom and I talked about how lucky we feel to be only excited to be trapped in the car together for hours/days on end with no sense of dread as so many other people have told us they would feel with their family.  Not us though.  We picked the lucky straw and get to just have a good time.  We sang along to Nat King Cole and David Gray and played bird-call games on her phone "there's an app for that!".
So far - having a blast and loving that we get four more days of fun.  Tomorrow we add to our company with Anna and Henry and their son Satto!

It's just beginning!

lonesome when you go

He's been my boy for three years this August.  Not a single day has gone by that Misfit hasn't been front and center, eager and ready for any amount of snuggling you can dish out and usually far more than you can stand to give - he always wants more.  Even now, as I type this, he is purring and forcing his cheeks against my hands, pawing at my arm trying to get it wrapped around him.  He follows me from room to room, keeps me company when I take a bath; nudges my face in adoring kisses; purrs when i tell him how much i love him; squawks frantically at the window- pacing back and forth- before i can get in the front door when he hears my car pull up; he plays whatever games the neighbor girls want him too, following them down the sidewalk, chasing sticks endlessly for them; he spoons and hugs (I woke up this morning with my arm wrapped around him and his arm draped over my shoulder, his head beneath my chin - fast asleep).

I'll be lonely when you're gone, little prince.