On dancing, kitchens and running away from home

sometimes i wonder if i've got this right
tonight i drove ..and just wanted to keep on. driving
but
instead followed my nose on home and
i danced in my kitchen and drank a beer.
kitchens are meant for dancing i think.  Men! did you hear that? Take the lead, n spin that lady 'round

i love easily
my heart is touched quickly and fiercely
by those around me.

a lure

oh, there you are.
my little bluesy friend
blowin' in with a cool breeze tonight.
but, then again, who could blame you?

You can sip through the milky sweetness,
at the head of my beer...but, just a sip!
it suits me just fine tonight.
And so do you, blue friend.

If we sit here together in our solitude
We can leave soon to snuggle in it a bit more
But only if you promise me kisses
out in the breeze you came in on.
The rain is just right for a stolen kiss
among friends.

Baby, let's not argue. let's not fight,
Let's just play straight
Fly right
And hug tight.
Oh Baby, take the bait.

not what i thought it would be...

he rode in on a harmonica road
a moaning groan in a lullaby facade
crawling across the pub floor of my imagination
dripping in electric blue streaks of wet paint

what an ignorant fool you are
lost, confused attempting to smile
you made a rue
thickening, thickening, simmering, thickening
into an abstract dream of non-reality.
dreaming dreams and waking dreams
thick thick
tick
tick
time
thickly dripping its sticky syrup
down the drain of your aspirations until
it clogs.

hot damn that's depressing.

a peep show

It bespoke a calm that didn't exist - proving that the flow continues.  continues on making me look up. smile, remember.  remember a time that made sense.  A time that filled my heart with happiness and excitement.  Where did it run off too?  how could i ever let it.  seems criminal.  criminal acts made in haste for what purpose?
Swallowing.
Swallowed up into a blur of insecurity.  Now I dig my nails in until they bleed.  Trying to retrace my fallen path.  Unwilling to slip back again into black blurs of motion I can't seem to ever interpret correctly.  And, I see your eyes glaring at me eager to fill with anger and disdain.
please cleanse me. soon.
let this hurt heal.
let this hurt force open a bigger love.  bigger compassion than i ever had before it.  and let it please be enough to dry these tears.  And Let Go.
I am perhaps not complete openness anymore.  I feel reservations lurking in a heart veiled with doubt and thickly masked with enthusiasm.
The charming, smiling kind of enthusiasm.
When the mask bleeds into reality will I notice the change - appreciating it for what it is:
The Letting Go...which could trace every pearled tear - but won't.

Status Update

I like my life served Up, with a twist of Adventure; and a full glass of Affection to chase it with.
Give me kindness.
Give me sweetness.
Give me love.
And I will happily give the same.

True Healing Begins With Giving Truely

Be lulled by those simple things that fill your heart with joy and love.
Let the afternoon sun heal your sadness with its gentling light.
Allow each note of music to caress those parts of your soul which feel broken with loss.
Embrace the compassion and smiles of those reaching out their hands and hearts to you with grace.
Cherish the influence of one life on another as a treasure.
Hold nothing back which you can give;
Without giving of Self - there is no healing.


'07 ...on grief

recreate

and i look forward to walking out that door
again
today
so the rain can wash down
over my face
wash down over my fears, my heavy thoughts
wash down clean
sparkling refresh
rejuvenated
recreate
the day

just some thoughts from a while ago...

itching, tasting
numbness
pounding
pulsating against my ribs
throbbing
to sickness
Where is my peace
gentleness
serenity
Lost
I want it back.

hide me.
please
for only a little while.